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Daze Before Christmas
- by LG

Gifts are wrapped, Stockings hung
Christmas day is almost here
Kids are grinning, happy as larks
Adults are guzzling beer

Santa is swamped, up at the pole
Taking faxes, letters and calls
Filling orders, creating toys
"Bah- Humbug" to "Deck the Halls"

Elves are running in circles
There's way too much to do
How they got this far behind
They haven't got a clue

Poor Rudolph has a runny nose
Old Donner threw a shoe
Comet's tired; he's got a cold
And Blitzen's feeling blue

Santa tries to rally his troops
Talks of cheer, good will and spirit
But, the troops are cranky, stress abounds
And they really don't want to hear it!

Only Mrs. Claus stays happy
Her Prozac's working well
She sits and watches rather dreamily
Under a serene, tranquil spell

Soon the orders dwindle
Just a last few chores remain
Santa and elves are exhausted
They'd rather travel by train

But, with labor done, just fun ahead
Their dampened spirits brightened
Stocking the sleigh, checking lists
Their anticipation heightened!

Soon, the big night came and off they flew
Rudolph prancing with a neigh
Delivering presents worldwide
Santa, Reindeer and their sleigh!


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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. (They are the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females that do so).

Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. But female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them -- from Rudolf to Blitzen -- had antlers, and therefore had to be a girl.

We should have known, when they were able to find their way!


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A Thought For Christmas

Do you know what would have happened
If it had been Three Wise Women
Instead of Three Wise Men?

They would have asked directions,
Arrived on time,
Helped deliver the baby,
Cleaned the stable,
Made a casserole,
Brought practical gifts and
There would be Peace On Earth.

Pass it on to the wise women in your life.


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Santa's List

Ho Ho Ho,

Hello out there all people of the world.

This is Santa and I just wanted to let you know that Christmas may be a little late this year.

See after checking all the boxes and tallying them up, I found some problems with the results.

The first result showed:
428,534,120 Good
428,523,119 Bad

The second result showed:
428,534,118 Good
428,523,121 Bad

So you see, I can't, with good faith, go out and deliver presents while knowing I could have made a mistake. Maybe Little Johnny was good for once, then again, maybe not.

So, I have enlisted the help of all my elves and the Mrs. to help do a recount. We hope to have this finished up by 5pm on the 24th of December, but there is a possibility that it might take longer. You see the tally cards were not quite clear to me, although I made them myself, I forgot what they meant.

You know, Good...and Bad??? And the check marks I used were not all the same, some went left, some right, some were just a mark. some went through both boxes, and some didn't even have much of a mark on them. I leave it up to them to decide what I meant.

So if you wake up on Christmas morning, and there are no presents under your tree, at least you can tell the kids the story. Thank you for your patience and understanding in these times,

Santa

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Web page design by  Cheryl.
Guestbook courtesy of  Bravenet.com.
Some graphics copyright and courtesy of  Ender Design: Realm Graphics.
Santa background set copyright and courtesy of  Bimsan's Web Graphics.
Bimsan's Web Graphics