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Daze Before Christmas - by LG Gifts are wrapped, Stockings hung Christmas day is almost here Kids are grinning, happy as larks Adults are guzzling beer
Santa is swamped, up at the pole Taking faxes, letters and calls Filling orders, creating toys "Bah- Humbug" to "Deck the Halls"
Elves are running in circles There's way too much to do How they got this far behind They haven't got a clue
Poor Rudolph has a runny nose Old Donner threw a shoe Comet's tired; he's got a cold And Blitzen's feeling blue
Santa tries to rally his troops Talks of cheer, good will and spirit But, the troops are cranky, stress abounds And they really don't want to hear it!
Only Mrs. Claus stays happy Her Prozac's working well She sits and watches rather dreamily Under a serene, tranquil spell
Soon the orders dwindle Just a last few chores remain Santa and elves are exhausted They'd rather travel by train
But, with labor done, just fun ahead Their dampened spirits brightened Stocking the sleigh, checking lists Their anticipation heightened!
Soon, the big night came and off they flew Rudolph prancing with a neigh Delivering presents worldwide Santa, Reindeer and their sleigh!
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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. (They are the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females that do so).
Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. But female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them -- from Rudolf to Blitzen -- had antlers, and therefore had to be a girl.
We should have known, when they were able to find their way!
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A Thought For Christmas
Do you know what would have happened If it had been Three Wise Women Instead of Three Wise Men?
They would have asked directions, Arrived on time, Helped deliver the baby, Cleaned the stable, Made a casserole, Brought practical gifts and There would be Peace On Earth.
Pass it on to the wise women in your life.
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Santa's List
Ho Ho Ho,
Hello out there all people of the world.
This is Santa and I just wanted to let you know that Christmas may be a little late this year.
See after checking all the boxes and tallying them up, I found some problems with the results.
The first result showed: 428,534,120 Good 428,523,119 Bad
The second result showed: 428,534,118 Good 428,523,121 Bad
So you see, I can't, with good faith, go out and deliver presents while knowing I could have made a mistake. Maybe Little Johnny was good for once, then again, maybe not.
So, I have enlisted the help of all my elves and the Mrs. to help do a recount. We hope to have this finished up by 5pm on the 24th of December, but there is a possibility that it might take longer. You see the tally cards were not quite clear to me, although I made them myself, I forgot what they meant.
You know, Good...and Bad??? And the check marks I used were not all the same, some went left, some right, some were just a mark. some went through both boxes, and some didn't even have much of a mark on them. I leave it up to them to decide what I meant.
So if you wake up on Christmas morning, and there are no presents under your tree, at least you can tell the kids the story. Thank you for your patience and understanding in these times,
Santa
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Web page design by Cheryl. Guestbook courtesy of Bravenet.com. Some graphics copyright and courtesy of Ender Design: Realm Graphics. Santa background set copyright and courtesy of Bimsan's Web Graphics.
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